The 'R' Word

As I approach my second month in Second Life, I feel I am a little bit more qualified to blog about the wonderment of this virtual haven.,,

I don't wear boxes as much anymore (although it does still make me smile when I do) I don't seem to travel around exploring as much, as I now have my regular spots and hangouts. I was speaking to a new friend a little while ago about relationships, how they work, how they vary, friends, partners, are they healthy? Do they work? Many questions we have all asked ourselves at one point or another.

Two questions that seem to ring more prominently are 'Why did I come here?' and 'What is keeping me here?'
I personally can answer both those questions with the same answer...I was introduced by a RL friend and we are maintaining a relationship in a more pixelated and fun way then just e-mails.

I realise the very mention of the word 'relationships' has caused many of the male readers to stop at this point, but before you click off this blog, if I promise to mention beer, and naked ladies will you continue? Thought so!

But the 'R' word is something that not only us users depend on, also it is what the Linden Lab guys rely on too. It is our world, we create most of what lays within including the relationships and friendships and the reason we keep logging back in. It is human nature to find comfort in others, to meet and spend time with people you have formed a connection with. People share interests, people talk, people become friends, people make time for other people and that makes people feel good about themselves.

For me, I have to admit I entered SL with a very sceptical view. I, like many others probably expected to encounter the seedy, sex-crazed stigma that comes attached to SL. Not that it doesn't exist, of course it is out there but seemingly if you look for it you can find it, but otherwise I haven't encountered anything that has made me consider uninstalling or attending therapy.

I wasn't really here to make new friends, I was here to hang out with my RL buddy and to explore and be silly together in a pixelated way. But unfortunately we have a timezone issue and our time together is limited to a couple of hours here and there. Then one day I walked into a certain Alternative club, met a friendly Dalek and many welcoming people and the rest, as they say, is history.

Suddenly I had accidentally met people who I could relate to, enjoy sharing jokes and music with and consider to be friends. As easy as that I had formed relationships.

People go beyond friendships of course. This is more than intriguing to me and something I wanted to find out a little more about. There are many different cases, each one unique. Some mutually purposeful some more one-sided and unbalanced. My interest stems from their RLstandpoint. I have heard and know of many who were two single people enjoying SL, they became friends, then became more than friends and met up in RL and now enjoy SL as a couple under the same RL roof and live happily ever after. I have also heard some tales of heroism and romance that would make for a tear-jerking screenplay.

There are those who are in a dysfunctional RL relationship and use SL as the ultimate escape. Again, many different types, each one unique but where is the line drawn between SL and RL? Is it okay to say 'I don't speak to my partner, we just live together for the sake of our children' Then look to form a romance in SL? Is it possible to have a fully functional RL marriage and have a seperate SL partnership because their opinion is that SL and RL are complete separate entities? And what about those who don't consider RL and SL any different at all? Would they be cheating on their RL partners if they engaged in any SL romantic/sexual activities?

I still feel very naive to this area of SL. There seems to be such a huge variety of relationship 'types' it's hard to keep track of. Is it worth jeopardizing a friendship by taking the plunge into a partnership? Would it make any difference anyway?

I am asking to many questions in this blog, it's something that will continue to intrigue me, it's a sociological fascination for sure, and one which would most likely have divided opinions, so perhaps we should leave my questions as rhetorical for now...

But feel free to answer these two simple but thought provoking questions.

Why did you join SL and what is keeping you here?


Oh,..for the guys...here is the barenaked ladies I promised :) Enjoy!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHacDYj8KZM